So. Don’t marry the first girl you… kiss? There is so much to this subject. We had our first discussion about the “birds and the bees” a long time ago it seems. And since I don’t believe in such cute euphemisms, we are talking about sex here. First, remember when you have kids, don’t use cutesy words for their body parts, call them what they are and speak freely and openly to them about those parts and what they can be used for.
Now with that out of the way… I have no idea if you are yet sexually active; but I know you are something of a slow starter socially. This is not a bad thing. You are a careful person who does not take a lot of risks. But this is an arena in which it doesn’t take much to have huge consequences. So I am torn between saying, don’t be too afraid; and saying, be afraid and be careful. So second, don’t have sex until you are ready. You probably won’t know if you are ready, but listen to your heart. Sex is a pathway to your emotional life, it is never ever just sex.
Third, try not to fall too hard the first time. This is pointless advice but I will say it anyway. If you are waiting, as I suspect you may be, don’t marry the first one unless you spend a long, long time getting to know her too. You will change so much in the next 5 to 7 years as you find your way through college and to a career that it will be hard to predict what you will want in a relationship at the end of that time.
Finally, remember that sex is about caring, respect, sharing and intimacy; it is not about you, it is about you both. So, against my better judgment I say don’t be afraid; but yes be careful. Show your heart, but don’t be too quick to give it away for life.