Snakes Don’t Wear Sparkles

So, here I am living in a swamp. I grew up in the northeast where the creatures that roam are very different. Sure, there are snakes and frogs and spiders, but they seem to keep to themselves. They both have bear and deer and raccoons and squirrels and the like. But they seem to behave differently. Here in the swamp called Florida the creatures have no respect for the humans that have taken over their habitat. Imagine that.

Here, the snakes languish, sunning themselves on the warm concrete sidewalks, occasionally biting a curious dog or cat on the nose. Here, the deer eat my rose bushes daily – taking all the beautiful blooms, leaving bare snipped stems that I first believed was a neighbor’s work. I am told that they also eat geraniums but I don’t have any that are accessible for them. The frogs make so much noise during the rainy season that it can keep you wide awake if you can’t accept it as background music. For me this is especially true as I have a wetland next door to my home and the frogs are incessant. It is the summer choir.

Every once in a while a black snake will find its way onto my lanai or front porch. I should say here that my son and I are both snake phobic. I was at work one day when I received a text that said “Mom, I sacrificed the cat.” This seemed improbable to me so I called him immediately. There were two rat snakes in my lanai and my son told me he liked the dog too much to use him to chase them off – wise choice. So he put the cat out to shoo them away. This, of course, did not work. My fat black cat was soundly sleeping next to the snakes. For next time, a broom. As an aside, my best friend found a coral snake in her pool once, eek. And I have learned the behavioral differences between rat snakes and black racers, who look the same. This is knowledge I could easily have done without.

The other night I inadvertently dropped a bookmark with a tail of sparkly beads attached. No, I did not buy it – it was a gift. All of a sudden my daughter in law gave a scream/squeak. Turning, I asked her what was wrong.  “There’s a snake” she said.  I looked down at the bookmark and burst out laughing. Snakes don’t wear sparkles, I said.

The spiders here are the stuff of science fiction. If you are not bitten by a brown recluse and have a chunk of your body cut away, then you will be terrified by the huge wolf and banana spiders that are the size of the back of my hand. I am also spider phobic, sad I know. And they always seem to appear when I am least able to deal, in the bathroom, in bed, etc. And the tiny spiders are everywhere. When I walk out my front door I almost always walk through a thin, unseen line of spider silk.

When I garden, I almost always are bitten by some unseen, unnamed and vicious little insect. I grew tomatoes this spring and while I got a few, the plants were overwhelmed by some mysterious bug/fungus. I recall my father’s constant battle with his tomato plants and now I can empathize.

The lizards are everywhere. And I do mean everywhere. They are underfoot on my front walk, eating my cucumber plants, on my pool screen. Occasionally in the house and sometimes half eaten as a result of the Fat Kitty hunting just a little – he grows lazier by the year. They are often clinging to my windshield when I drive away.

And if you have never lived through the time of lovebugs you really haven’t lived. They are insidious, everywhere. They coat your car, smash by the hundreds on your windshield, fly into your face with no respect at all.

So here we are in the swamp. The tradeoffs – the sun is shining, the beach is close (watch out for sharks), the flowers are abundantly in bloom, there is the occasional onshore breeze, life is a bit slower and snakes don’t wear sparkles.

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Author: Trienah Meyers

I am a singer, a writer, a mother, a teacher. I am learning to live life differently at this new stage of life. Adventures, food, music, books, friends, religion. Everything is interesting. Everything old is new again. I am also available to write blog posts for you, newsletters, speeches. Proofreading/copy editing/editing also available. Or if you just want to take me travelling...